Where does beauty come from? Do you know what beauty is? Do you think you are beautiful? How would you rate yourself on beauty? Such questions often run through a women's mind daily, and for some of us all day long. We see a women pass us and we think: Wow she has great legs, skin, hair, and body. I want that. But why do we want this? Is it because it will make us feel better? Will we be a better person? Or is it because we feel we need our husbands approval? Are we scared we may loose them if we are not exactly how we were when we met? It is painfully woeful how we as women view ourselves when complete beauty remains unseen.
I have been conscience about my weight since I was young. Maybe it was the magazines telling me that this is what a women should look like: "flawless" Maybe it was the career I wanted to steer towards: entertainment, and most of those who know me have no clue the cruel and malicious world of entertainment can be as I hid this hurtful and painful retention.
I have never been overweight although I was never satisfied with myself however I was innocently unaware of what I really had until I was pregnant with my first son. I had a thyroid issue that caused a severe out of control weight gain. However my doctor could only say that I was over eating. My sister will tell you it was not so. I gained almost 100 pounds. And for something that could have been stopped if I had the proper treatment. I should of had a blood test done to check my TSH levels, and back then I knew nothing about the medical business. It took almost 4 years to lose the weight, but not without the help of a prescribed drug. I lost weight pretty fast. I soon felt the confidence that I once had. There were plenty more things that I went through personally and deep within, however that is a whole other story.
Shortly after feeling better about myself we sold our house, most of our things and headed to Nashville Tennessee to write and sing. To make a long story short, I had been introduced to some people that were going to help me "break into the biz" or at least try. We talked about the music business and how hard it is to break in. We discussed how someone needs to have the whole package. I knew what this meant but I asked the question anyways, I guess you could say I really sat myself up for a fall. "what does the whole package mean?" he said "well, with a slight pause, looks, presence on stage and well you know the whole package." Not one time did he say talent.... really? really? I had just lost all my weight, in fact I was finally back to a size 5 after 4 years. Do you know what he told me? "For starters you are very beautiful we have no problem there, but you do need to loose 20 pounds." My heart sank and my dreams: "POOF" exploded into thin air. Once again I had some MAN telling me that I needed to loose weight this time it was in order to "fit" the part. At this point he has yet to hear me sing or listen to any of my songs that I wrote. Finally after I listened to more of his BS I had told him I had some songs. I gave the CD to him and he popped it into his CD player and hit play. He listened to about 30 seconds of one song and then hit the next button and played 30 seconds of another song until after about 3 minutes and turned it off. He looked at me and said "well we definitely don't have a problem with your voice either but here is what we need to do to get you noticed. Loose 20 pounds and I know someone that can get you some songs that you can record to get you heard." At this point I felt as though I was a motionless statue screaming to gasp for air. Shattered and deeply severed in two, I felt the emptiness of my stomach turning as if I was ready to vomit from pure devastation. As my ears started to ring the room started to spin. I grabbed onto the handles of my chair and quickly excused myself to the facilities. As I stood in front of the mirror I looked at myself and reran the words in my head and as the room slowly came to a halt these are what his words translated to me: You are Fat, and not a good writer, therefore you are not good enough for the world. I gathered myself and took my composure and we walked right out the door without looking back! I heard this many times in this town. But I never gave up. I kept going and I kept writing and found out their were many down right slimy people that would do anything for a buck. Although it was hurtful I never let it stomp me into the ground.
This is just a part of the battle I dealt with for myself. There are many of us out there that think we are not good enough for anyone. YOU are wrong. You are good enough, and you are better. Beauty remains inside, although we hear this term do we know what it means? Not really. When we hear "she is such a beautiful person on the inside" what is the first thing we think about? Such vein women we are: "she must not be pretty" Come one we all do it. Beauty remains on the outside as well. For the more confident and flawless that you are, will be the beauty that flows through your veins remaining unseen. When you are confident with yourself others see you as beautiful being that you are.
The ring that circles you as you walk into a room, is the ring that everyone can prominently see. If it is a ring that is depressed, gloomy, and frigidly timid, people will see you as an ugly "unseen" person that you feel you are. If that ring is a bright, shinning and vibrantly optimistic, people will see you as the beautiful person you are. The women that don't know she is beautiful who is constantly helping others see the beauty in themselves is a women of beautiful presence. A women who walks in oblivious of the eyes on her is the women who knows no boundaries when it comes to beauty. A women who sees the beauty in all, is a true women with the relentless power of beauty.
Is this person you? Make it be so.......:)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Dreams
Dreams are a big part of our lives whether its known or not. The theory of dreams is known to cause friction with people and their everyday life. Dreams and the conception they bring may surprise you, make you angry, sad, joyous, laugh, have excruciating pain in your heart, feel the fear it has left you and see the down spiral it may cause you. It's like having the devil at your door along with the tooth fairy, Santa, Jesus, the Easter bunny, Cupid, a Leprecone, or fairy Godmother and they are all kicking down your door.
Dreams are curiously perplexing in such a way that the explosion that happened in your mind the night before sometimes is amazingly forgotten. But why? Why is it that we cannot remember some of the strange and unusual things that happen in your mind while you sleep? What makes your mind turn such complex fixations? What is the meaning behind the dream that we remember? All these questions are still being examined today. Somewhere in a lab scientists are testing these very ideas that have been tested for centuries only to proof a scientific reasoning behind our dreams, rather then to believe on faith or a higher power.
My theory simply stating; that dreams are not from our inner consciences that make it into our dreams as the last thing we thought about before falling asleep, although sometimes it can, the dreams I speak of are from a part of our brain that has not and led to make one believe that can't be accessed. Although scientists think they know, they don't. The brain is this fragile, powerful fascination, and no one has quite the grip that they think they have on it. Only our creator knows the true story of this powerful mechanism that he created us, and how it works.I further believe that he does tap into our brain, showing us events that have not happened yet, and then allowing us to remember them for certain reasons. SOMEONE knew what they were doing when they locked that part of our brain up and threw away the key.
Can you imagine what you could do if you could use the full capacity of your brain? People think that a human being that can move objects with the mind, see the future, read someone’s mind, communicate with the dead, or the ability to see anything on paper being held backwards are all possessed by the devil. It just simply can't be. My theory will further explain that dreams are simply made up by the brain that uses the fixations it has from your everyday life along with the future that has been made at least 3-6 months in advanced. Sometimes it will incorporate your family, friends, enemies, co-workers, streets you grew up on, streets you have been on, and places you have been. The brain not the mind (as the mind is a totally different thing) is capable of making a story become real, and then in fact make it come true.
Have you ever been doing something and had to stop and say: I have done this exact thing before? Or drove down a road you have never been on and yet stop and think I have been here before. Some say it is dejavue. I will tell you it is not so. The street you have never been on before was something you had dreamed of sometime in the past, sometimes it may be the night before, and sometimes it may be years before. No one really knows for sure except for those who remember them-, which is very rare. Most human beings cannot remember most dreams. This is called a premonition. Definition: Premonition- precognition as the bible refers to it, also called future site. Some time during your dream your brain accesses the forbidden locked fragments that hold the key to seeing the future. How can one see the future if it has not been written yet? Is it? Do we know this for sure. I myself believe that the dejavue moments are the surpressed dreams that we do not remember for the future that we are not suppose to know. Yet if our creator locks this part of our brain then how does it leak out durring everyday life causing this thing called Dejavue? This is a question that only he can answer.
After doing some research I came across some very interesting articles. It states that Jean Dixon was born on January 3, 1918. Mrs. Dixon claimed to have predicted the election of a "blue-eyed democrat" in 1969, our 35th president, President John F. Kennedy. She also claimed to have predicted the assassination of the president that devastated the nation and many people all over the world. Mrs. Dixon apparently predicted that the Anti-Christ had been born on February 5, 1962 in the Middle East. She reportedly said the world would know about him in the early 1990's and that he would be destroyed by God in 1999.
One of the most reknown prophets was a Jewish-born convert to Catholicism and a physician, astronomer, astrologer who lived in the 1500's named Michel de Nostradame. He was apparently notable for his ability to effect cures by unique methods in some who had the medieval plague. It seems Nostradamus was somewhat protected from the inquisition by the fact that he apparently couched his quatrains in difficult to interpret wordings. Nostradamus allegedly used a “scrying” mirror to see visions. Some people are convinced that the quatrains Nostradamus wrote were predictions about the future and some believe that he predicted the advent of Hitler and the Nazi Holocaust, the assassination of President Kennedy, and the coming of World War III. One of Nostradamus's quatrains was: "The year 1999, seventh month, from he sky will come a great King of Terror. To bring back to life the great King of Mongols, before and after Mars to reign by good luck."
Passages in the Bible tell of prophets and prophecies, Jeremiah, Moses, Samuel and Elijah were regarded as prophets, The prophetess, Anna, is also mentioned in the Bible. The prophet Jeremiah apparently predicted that the Hebrews would be overtaken by the Babylonians and be enslaved by them for a period of seventy years.
These examples provided are just a small few I found while searching. I have had several of them myself since I was a little girl. The most recent one was of my life just recently, however they are things in the recent past mixed in with things in the near future I believe, therefore I can not discuss or even explain these images that play over at least twice a month. Sometimes having a powerful brain can tell you things in theory what you don't want to believe, therefore I chose to ignore it, but they still come night after night. No one knows of these things only because I feel the only one I can trust in this world at this time is me, myself, I, and the Lord. I can trust God and his true guidance to the path that I need to follow today. God only gives me what I can handle and not a pinch more. I believe that he has given me these things because I have asked for them over and over and over. But yet I chose to look the other way or try to "catch" what he is trying to tell me before it happens, but the fear for my ability gets in the way of the fear for myself. Someday he will give me the full strength to forgive those who have trespassed against me. I forgive them in my head, but I have not truly forgiven them in my heart. I even fool myself into believing I have but I have not. So I live with the guilty sin of knowing forgivness is the only true way to set me free, and yet I know this but still hold back.
Dreams are curiously perplexing in such a way that the explosion that happened in your mind the night before sometimes is amazingly forgotten. But why? Why is it that we cannot remember some of the strange and unusual things that happen in your mind while you sleep? What makes your mind turn such complex fixations? What is the meaning behind the dream that we remember? All these questions are still being examined today. Somewhere in a lab scientists are testing these very ideas that have been tested for centuries only to proof a scientific reasoning behind our dreams, rather then to believe on faith or a higher power.
My theory simply stating; that dreams are not from our inner consciences that make it into our dreams as the last thing we thought about before falling asleep, although sometimes it can, the dreams I speak of are from a part of our brain that has not and led to make one believe that can't be accessed. Although scientists think they know, they don't. The brain is this fragile, powerful fascination, and no one has quite the grip that they think they have on it. Only our creator knows the true story of this powerful mechanism that he created us, and how it works.I further believe that he does tap into our brain, showing us events that have not happened yet, and then allowing us to remember them for certain reasons. SOMEONE knew what they were doing when they locked that part of our brain up and threw away the key.
Can you imagine what you could do if you could use the full capacity of your brain? People think that a human being that can move objects with the mind, see the future, read someone’s mind, communicate with the dead, or the ability to see anything on paper being held backwards are all possessed by the devil. It just simply can't be. My theory will further explain that dreams are simply made up by the brain that uses the fixations it has from your everyday life along with the future that has been made at least 3-6 months in advanced. Sometimes it will incorporate your family, friends, enemies, co-workers, streets you grew up on, streets you have been on, and places you have been. The brain not the mind (as the mind is a totally different thing) is capable of making a story become real, and then in fact make it come true.
Have you ever been doing something and had to stop and say: I have done this exact thing before? Or drove down a road you have never been on and yet stop and think I have been here before. Some say it is dejavue. I will tell you it is not so. The street you have never been on before was something you had dreamed of sometime in the past, sometimes it may be the night before, and sometimes it may be years before. No one really knows for sure except for those who remember them-, which is very rare. Most human beings cannot remember most dreams. This is called a premonition. Definition: Premonition- precognition as the bible refers to it, also called future site. Some time during your dream your brain accesses the forbidden locked fragments that hold the key to seeing the future. How can one see the future if it has not been written yet? Is it? Do we know this for sure. I myself believe that the dejavue moments are the surpressed dreams that we do not remember for the future that we are not suppose to know. Yet if our creator locks this part of our brain then how does it leak out durring everyday life causing this thing called Dejavue? This is a question that only he can answer.
After doing some research I came across some very interesting articles. It states that Jean Dixon was born on January 3, 1918. Mrs. Dixon claimed to have predicted the election of a "blue-eyed democrat" in 1969, our 35th president, President John F. Kennedy. She also claimed to have predicted the assassination of the president that devastated the nation and many people all over the world. Mrs. Dixon apparently predicted that the Anti-Christ had been born on February 5, 1962 in the Middle East. She reportedly said the world would know about him in the early 1990's and that he would be destroyed by God in 1999.
One of the most reknown prophets was a Jewish-born convert to Catholicism and a physician, astronomer, astrologer who lived in the 1500's named Michel de Nostradame. He was apparently notable for his ability to effect cures by unique methods in some who had the medieval plague. It seems Nostradamus was somewhat protected from the inquisition by the fact that he apparently couched his quatrains in difficult to interpret wordings. Nostradamus allegedly used a “scrying” mirror to see visions. Some people are convinced that the quatrains Nostradamus wrote were predictions about the future and some believe that he predicted the advent of Hitler and the Nazi Holocaust, the assassination of President Kennedy, and the coming of World War III. One of Nostradamus's quatrains was: "The year 1999, seventh month, from he sky will come a great King of Terror. To bring back to life the great King of Mongols, before and after Mars to reign by good luck."
Passages in the Bible tell of prophets and prophecies, Jeremiah, Moses, Samuel and Elijah were regarded as prophets, The prophetess, Anna, is also mentioned in the Bible. The prophet Jeremiah apparently predicted that the Hebrews would be overtaken by the Babylonians and be enslaved by them for a period of seventy years.
These examples provided are just a small few I found while searching. I have had several of them myself since I was a little girl. The most recent one was of my life just recently, however they are things in the recent past mixed in with things in the near future I believe, therefore I can not discuss or even explain these images that play over at least twice a month. Sometimes having a powerful brain can tell you things in theory what you don't want to believe, therefore I chose to ignore it, but they still come night after night. No one knows of these things only because I feel the only one I can trust in this world at this time is me, myself, I, and the Lord. I can trust God and his true guidance to the path that I need to follow today. God only gives me what I can handle and not a pinch more. I believe that he has given me these things because I have asked for them over and over and over. But yet I chose to look the other way or try to "catch" what he is trying to tell me before it happens, but the fear for my ability gets in the way of the fear for myself. Someday he will give me the full strength to forgive those who have trespassed against me. I forgive them in my head, but I have not truly forgiven them in my heart. I even fool myself into believing I have but I have not. So I live with the guilty sin of knowing forgivness is the only true way to set me free, and yet I know this but still hold back.
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